Hearing The Words It’s Over

Time heals a broken heart

The first thing you do when you hear the words, “It’s over” is pause and not believe that you’re hearing those words. You then ask, “Why?” while inside your heart is breaking and your mind is trying to figure out where this is coming from. When you hear those words, you try to figure out where you went wrong or if there were any signs. Yes, of course there were signs, but most of the time you didn’t get the hint. There are always signs. The person saying the words cannot have acted the same as when there was mutual love in the relationship unless that person is a very good actor/actress. There were signs you chose to overlook hoping they weren’t real. When you hear those words you ask the familiar questions: “Who is the person, what can that person do for you that I didn’t and what did I do wrong?” Do those questions really matter? When you look back and think about those questions you’ll wonder if you really wanted to know or if that was just an automatic reaction to not knowing what to say. But that’s looking back after the pain.
The next feeling you have is betrayal. How could the person you invested love and time in be saying those words like they’re nothing? The next feeling is anger that you ever got involved with that person. You want to fight for the relationship you had. You want to fight the person that dares to break your heart. You don’t want to hear how good you were or the line, “It’s not your fault we’ve grown apart.” Exactly what does we’ve grown apart mean? You’re furious. You want answers and demand them right then when you hear those words. The problem is you think you want to hear the answers until you’re told the answers and as the answers are coming you realize that this is making your heart break even more.
Is this real you’ll ask yourself, while your tears are falling with ferocity. You say anything you can think of to change the person’s mind. You practically beg and plead hoping that person will see your pain and change his/her mind. You look in that person’s eyes for a sign of weakening but there’s nothing there.
Hearing those words is heartbreaking. It will take time to heal. There’s no fast way to get though a breakup. There’s no easy way to watch as your relationship is now separating. The first days after he/she leaves is the hardest. You’re used to us, not me. You wonder how you’re going to survive as each day passes and you hope the telephone will ring. You don’t think anyone will understand the pain you’re in, so you close yourself off. You need time.
There is no easy way to deal with the pain you’re feeling. Take the time to mourn the death of your relationship. You have to resist reaching out to the person you were in a relationship with. That will serve no purpose except to show how needy you are. You have to really look inside yourself to see what part you might have played in the breakup. There are times where you’ve done nothing wrong but for whatever reason that person wanted to leave. You have to understand your worth because we are all worth something. Don’t shortchange yourself. Take what time you need to be honest about the relationship. Don’t start drinking or anything like that (maybe the first day you’ll need a drink) because you can’t deal with your true feelings if you’re in a fuzzy haze.
We have all been through a breakup and survived. You will too. It might seem like a dark tunnel, but there is light with time. Talk to friends but not friends that are not going to help you.

Author: Retirement and Dogs

I retired from the Defense Dept after over 30years. I serviced in the United States Army and was stationed at Ft Hood and Wildflecken, Germany.I live in Florida enjoying the hot weather and sunshine. I have two Shih tzu dogs Gg and Mason that spend their day trying to make me wish I was still working.A good aspect of retirement is being able to what I wanted to do instead of having to do. The what I wanted to do is write children’s books. I enjoy reading and gardening and many other activities.

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