“I’ve given all I can” are words we say in many situations to people in our life. It usually means you’ve tried everything, and like being in a maze you see no way out. You use these words not only when a relationship is hanging by a thread, but also for example when your children are drifting into doing things you know are not good for them.
When you’re in love, you sometimes overlook signs that your spouse/partner is straying. You know it’s happening, and you find yourself wondering “What am I doing wrong?” You question yourself over and over. You’re scared of the response so you don’t ask the question, you just try a little harder to be what you think will make that person happy. You start cooking dinner, washing clothes as soon as your spouse/partner drops them on the floor, you try to get sexual and get those sex toys out. You say I love you ten times a day instead of one. You try to be there by hanging onto every word coming out of their mouth. You plan date nights that sometimes find you alone. You’ve tried everything. Finally, you realize that enough is enough. You realize there’s no way to get around the hurt you know is coming. You finally say to the person, “I’ve given you all I have. I have nothing left. Nothing I do is good enough.” Once you say those words, there’s no taking them back. There’s nothing left to be said, only tears can show the hurt you feel inside. When the tears stop for a minute, you realize that you’re not comforted as a relationship partner but as more of a friend. You start to feel ashamed for letting yourself get to this point, but you love this person. What else can be done to save your relationship?
When you’ve given someone your love, time and energy and it’s not reciprocated there really is nothing left. You may try to ignore what’s happening in your relationship, but deep down you see it for what it really is. You may make excuses for your spouse/partner’s behavior, but you know the real story. It’s a matter of how long you’re willing to try to fool yourself into believing things will change if you just do a little more. No one wants to go through a breakup, especially when you feel that you’ve given all you can and you’ve reached deep down into your soul until you’re pulling nothing out. Your emotions start to harden, and you get mad because you’ve given so much, yet for that person it wasn’t enough. When the door to the relationship finally closes and you’re sitting in your lonely room alone with your tears, you go through so much mentally you feel that it’s never going to be right again. You wonder how you will go on, because that person was your everything. You cry a river of hurt.
When you’ve given all you have to a person, the tears will stop flowing one day. It may not seem that way while you’re going through it, but it will get better. You learn that it’s okay to give a lot to another person, but maybe you should hold onto a little bit for yourself. Sometimes that’s easier said than done when your heart is involved. It’s your natural instinct when you’re in a relationship to give all you can. I mean, a real relationship, not one that hasn’t been tested against the elements of life. If you don’t give all you can to a relationship, is it really a relationship worth having even though you know in the back of your mind that sometimes no matter what you do it’s never enough
When you’ve given all, don’t let that one relationship keep you from taking another chance with someone else. You have to put it all out there with each relationship you get into because there’s no other way of knowing when that person willing to give you all he/she has comes along. Once you’ve been hurt by someone, just take things a little slower, don’t let “I love you” flow out of your mouth too quickly, and most importantly don’t drag your baggage from one relationship to another. Giving all you have does not ensure you get to keep that person if they want out of the relationship. You just have to keep trying to find that person who’s willing to also give you all they have.