The Love Yoyo

What is the love yoyo? The love yoyo is when one person in a relationship decides it is over and leaves and asks to come back within a short period of time. You feelings become a yo-yo out and back in. Your response to the person coming back is what differentiates it from a second time around, which can be a love yoyo, too. Let me further explain. You’re in a relationship that you think is going fine until one day out of the blue the other person tells you that they’re unhappy and it’s over. Then you get a call, stating that he/she made a mistake, and they want to come back. What should you do? Remember this person gave you no indication that there was something wrong for him/her. It just seems to you that this request has come out of the blue. That time period of the separation has been so short that you still love the person. You don’t even think about it before the words out of your mouth are, “Yes, come home.” The relationship just continues as if the person had never left. There’s no real talking about what caused the person to say it’s over and leave. There’s no pause at all. You’re just happy the person is back. The second time around differs in that there would be a pause to the relationship. There would be a lot of conversations to see if the problems that the person has can be resolved. You would question the person’s motives. I mean the person could have left because they thought there was another relationship waiting in the wings or that the single life seemed better. You have to know what the person was thinking. You don’t just jump into the relationship and ignore what you went through. I mean, when someone you love suddenly decides to end the relationship, you go through an emotional letdown. You hurt and get depressed, so when that person all of a sudden just comes back, yeah, you’re happy, but what about all the hurt you’ve gone through. Should you just forget about it? No way, so when the person comes back, you have to be sure that coming back is honest and sincere. The second time around is not a quick fix to a relationship where one or both people are unhappy. It’s a process. When you engage in the love yoyo, there is no process, only a continuation. You lead with your heart, not with your mind. While being in love involves giving your heart to another person, it can also be a downfall when you’re trying to rebuild a relationship. You need to take some time to think about the situation and understand the circumstances of what happened. You can’t let your heart lead your mind because then you end up with a yoyo situation instead of a second-time-around scenario. The second time around can be as good as the first time or even better. I think most people will go through a relationship where the love yoyo will happen. There is nothing you can do to avoid it because you probably will not know or realize what the other person’s thinking. There’s also the slim possibility that you will know and choose not to confront it because you’re scared of the consequences. It doesn’t matter; it’s how you handle the person who’s begging you to get back together that matters. You can be smart and say, “Let’s talk about it, or you can just say yes. It’s up to you what you want from your relationship. I will say if you become part of the love yoyo, it might happen again and again because the other person will feel he/she can treat you any which way, and you’ll take them back. Don’t be part of the love yoyo. Remember the pain that you’ve just been through. You should always be true to yourself no matter what. You don’t want to be used or abused just to say you’re in a relationship.

Author: Retirement and Dogs

I retired from the Defense Dept after over 30years. I serviced in the United States Army and was stationed at Ft Hood and Wildflecken, Germany.I live in Florida enjoying the hot weather and sunshine. I have two Shih tzu dogs Gg and Mason that spend their day trying to make me wish I was still working.A good aspect of retirement is being able to what I wanted to do instead of having to do. The what I wanted to do is write children’s books. I enjoy reading and gardening and many other activities.

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