Sex Isn’t The Problem You Are

Sex is a physical act that requires at least one person, depending on your sexual preferences. The sex I want to talk about involves two people engaging in the act. I think of sex like an abstract picture where each person who looks at it has a different view of it. Sex can add another dimension to a relationship but also can be the destroyer of it. 

When the age of computers came along it bought us not only the ability to meet other people, but also to engage in more quick relationships. The more people you meet, the more sex you can have. Sex doesn’t have the meaning that it was intended to have. I’m not talking about the religious reason for it, but sex being a physical way to show love. Yes, you can have a relationship without sex and not all relationships need it, but I’ll say a majority of young people who don’t have sex as part of their relationship will seize to have that relationship. Relationships without sex for them is hard to imagine. When you get older, sex isn’t the driving force of the relationship as when you’re young. It’s not to say seniors don’t have sex, it’s just not the deal breaker as when you’re younger. 

The meaning of sex these days is not one that has importance – it has become something like telling someone ‘I love you’ on date two; it’s just something that sounds good with nothing real behind it. Sex isn’t special and, in some cases, people judge the performance as another criteria to date someone. When did it become alright to sleep with someone on the first date or have a few computer conversations and you think you know someone well enough to jump into bed with them? When is it okay to drink until you don’t care what you do and with whom you do it with?  
Abusing sex really hurts a relationship, because the things that really matter in a relationship can get swept away with what you consider good sex, and you overlook a lot of other things, such as how the person treats you and who the person really is. You can’t stay in bed 24hrs a day, no matter how good you think the sex is. You have to come up for air, and when you do, that’s where the problems start. You realize you don’t know the person at all. It shouldn’t be that every person you date, you sleep with. What does that say about you?  

People marry young and two of the biggest problems for divorce are sex and money. It’s not just men these days sleeping around, but women are now doing their fair share of sleeping with as many men as their hormones tell them. This is not just heterosexual people, but gay people also. It’s like you’re sixteen again and can’t control yourself. Cheating is so easy because sex is given so freely. You see someone who you feel is attractive, without caring about them being married and with kids, and you’re willing to sleep with that person.  

I am not a prude, I just feel that there wouldn’t be so many divorces within short periods of time if people would not be so giving of sex. Sex is a wonderful euphoric feeling, but the person behind the sex may not be that wonderful when you get to know the person. You have to get to know the person first and have sex later, if you want a lasting relationship. You need to be willing to sexually satisfy your spouse/partner, which means having a conversation about likes, dislikes and new things to try. You can’t be shy, because there’s a person out there who’s willing to do whatever you won’t. Let’s say you’re married and one person likes sex six times a week, and the other only wants to engage in sex once a week, then you compromise, but also try other positions where you maybe don’t have to do as much, or let the person masturbate without feeling some
kind of weird way about it. The point is you have to figure a way to keep your spouse/partner happy and keep you from feeling like a sex machine.

Communication is important; you have to talk about it, whatever the sexual issues are. You don’t want your spouse/partner to cheat, all because you’re to tired from work or the baby kept you up all night. There is a solution, maybe not an easy one, but there is a solution if only you’re both willing to compromise and understand the issues that are causing the problem. There are relationships that can’t be fixed, and no matter what you’re willing to do, it won’t be enough to keep your marriage. There’s nothing better than having sex with a new person, is the way of thinking for some people. Those people should never marry or even have a serious relationship, because it will only be temporary until the next person he/she feels attracted to comes along. Marriage with a person who doesn’t want to compromise or be understanding is a person half-way out the door. There’s nothing you can do about it. Sex should be a physical expression of love. It’s a shame these days that sex has become something of very little meaning to many people.