Marriage Minus Romance

A physical attraction is the thing that appeals to you when you meet someone, so our eyes is the first way someone is decided upon. Once the person is physically attractive, you decide to get to know the person. A lot of people say looks don’t matter, and that’s not true. What is true is that the person’s looks may be something you can live with, and that can only happen if you get to know that person. There is a lot of importance these days on appearance regardless of mental connection. A person will take a glamorous person for appearance and have nothing else in common. It’s just the times we live in where physical attraction has become more important than emotional or mental attraction.
When you get to know someone, you do put the best of you out there. You want someone to see you at your finest. You dress nice, you date, you get to know what that person likes and don’t like, you stay on the phone for hours losing all sense of time, you hold hands when you go out and do all the romantic things you can think of. Romancing the person is what you’re doing. The conversations aren’t superficial but meaningful, where you bare your soul and become vulnerable. You meet family and look for their acceptance of that person. Romance is beautiful. That is not to say that during this process you can’t decide that this isn’t the person but even with that, the act of romancing someone still is fun and exciting.
When you go to the next level of marriage, you do wonder whatever happened to romance. There are no more deep conversations, no more walks along the beach, no more holding hands, and the daily I love you for no reason seems to get pushed to the side. What causes the loss of romance is everyday life where you both forget why you got married. Everyday life where neither of you seem to realize that marriage minus romance leads to emptiness. When you’re in a relationship, you have to make time for romance. You have to have those date nights or weekend getaways. You have to take the time to leave a post it on the refrigerator to say I love you. Yes, we might know we love each other, but when your spouse acknowledges those words with simple gestures, it can make your heart soar and a smile that can last all day. It doesn’t matter who does it first, it just matters that it’s done. When you get home from work, take a minute to grab the person and plant a big ol’ sloppy kiss on the person’s lips. When the question of what’s that for is asked, just say just because. Romance needs no reason. A lot of couples use children as an excuse for neglecting romance. Children only get in the way of romance if you let that be a reason for not acting in a romantic way. Romance doesn’t have to take hours or days. You can show some romance in ten minutes with a hug that lasts longer than a hug you’d give your best friends. A call just to say I love you and I was thinking about you. Romance doesn’t have to cost one dollar, just use your emotions or a surprise picnic in the living room with soft music in the background.
When you let everyday life take over your marriage, you’re opening yourself to cheating. When you’re wondering why a spouse cheated, think back to the last time anything romantic happened between the two of you. When someone cheats, what he/she is trying to relive is the romantic part of a relationship.
Don’t let your marriage go without romance. Take time to remind each other of why you got married. Relive the moments where your heart fluttered and soared with every thought of the person. Take time to carve out a few minutes you both can make special.