We are living in a time where unconditional love is needed. This is not the time to judge or hold animosity towards anyone. This virus has no boundaries of who it touches or why it touches that person. We all have someone in our family that we have mentally thrown away for whatever reason. The reason is not important right now. This should be a time for families and friends to come together to build a foundation that will help each of us to get through this fight. This is a fight of our lives that is happening, and it is evident by the numbers we see each day of the deaths that have taken place in such a short period of time. It’s time to reach out to that thrown away person and bring them back into the fold of family and love. Where is that person right now, do you know? I know it’s easy to dismiss that drug addict, prostitute, runaway, and anyone that doesn’t live up to the standards that society puts upon us. The throw away person might have hurt you or gave you lot of unfulfilled promises, but this is not the time to mentally pretend that person doesn’t exist. We are all worried when we hear of a family member or friend that has tested positive, but what about the family member that we don’t hear about? Will that person’s death not mean anything? Is it too hard to open your heart to that throw away and reach out to them? This virus doesn’t care about who you are or what you did, it only wants to ravish your body and kill. How can the person sleeping in an alley fight it, or what about the prostitute who sleeps with so many people? Anyone of them can carry it? These people need love and someone to care about them. They need not to be judged, but shown unconditional love. This is a time to open that mind that has been closed to that person and reach out to them. There is no such thing as “I’m tired of trying” because this virus isn’t tired of killing. You must make an effort to find and throw your arms around that person and let him/her know you got them, they aren’t alone. Nobody wants to die alone, and we see that with this virus. People are dying alone. Don’t let your thrown away person die alone. If you don’t want them in your house, then take them by the hand and lead them to get help or to any place that he/she will be safe. There are so many thrown away people out there and, normally, each of us just holds our packages a little closer to our body and walk a little quicker to distance ourselves from their presence. This is a time we should walk a little slower, and, maybe in that package, have a sandwich with a note to a place of safety. This is not a time to turn our backs on anybody. We are all human beings and should not be judged because we wouldn’t want anyone to judge anyone of us. It’s sad that, even in these times under these conditions, that so many of us still have no compassion for others. If you have a throw away person in your family (we all have at least one), reach out to them. You should never ever feel that you can’t try just one more time to reach someone. We should, especially in this time, look beyond ourselves and show some love. It doesn’t hurt, and it won’t kill you like this virus will.
We are compartmentalized from the time we are born, boy or girl. As we progress in life, every aspect of our life is put into a compartment, similar to a postal worker putting mail into slots. These compartments fill up with people that have similar characteristics as you: gay or straight, rich or poor, black or white. The compartment with the most people is usually the leader and makes the decisions. That group determines how we should live our life, or try to influence people in other compartments that their way of thinking is the right way. That group of people is the decision maker of all the other compartments.
Diversity is just that, a compartment that is trying to break out from the bigger group. Diverse people have always had to fight to be noticed. They have had to fight to be heard. They have had to fight to stay true to their beliefs or run the risk of being taken over by the larger compartment. Diversity brings with adversity because the big compartment will not feel fulfilled until it has control over all the other compartments. Adversity comes about because the smaller groups usually do not have the money, support, or decision making authority to become bigger, due to the bigger group manipulating certain aspects of rules that can keep them in that same compartment. Even if their compartment gets bigger, there are safeguards in place that are meant to stop them.
Diversity is the uniqueness we all have that is usually not applied to individuals but groups: migrants or Afro Americans. When one person in a group commits a crime, or otherwise challenges the thinking of the group, that effects the whole group. It doesn’t matter if it’s a benefit or hinderance to the compartment. Individuals are not looked at as much as taking the easier route of passing judgment on the whole group. It is so unfair that groups of people are given such negative thoughts and rules because of what one or two people in the group might do.
Diverse people will always have to fight because the bigger group will always be afraid of themselves becoming one of those diverse groups. It’s not that it’s impossible to happen. Diverse groups are getting more vocal and laws are getting more acceptable to diverse groups. It’s not to say that it’s smooth sailing, but as time goes by and new generations of people are filling the groups, the way of thinking is changing. Technology has helped by letting people in the groups engage with other people that are in that same group, but only in a different part of the world. They are getting stronger and the bigger group is getting worried. There is strength, not only in numbers, but in the way of thinking.
Diverse groups don’t have to feel held down like a foot on your chest, they are getting stronger and starting to push that foot away. The bigger group should be afraid, because when one of the diverse groups gets the power of the bigger group, they will not know how to deal with that foot on their chest. They haven’t had the years of adversity to have learned how to protect themselves. They will succumb to their new conditions of being held down and held back. Diverse people must keep moving forward, they must keep having conversations with other groups. They must continue to challenge the bigger group and themselves to see outside of their compartment.
There are many diverse groups, and not all are groups that should be given any power, no matter how big they are. There must be ways to judge and censor these groups, because them getting bigger and having more power can be a threat to all people, no matter the group you are in.
Adversity has to stop being an end result to diversity.
Tick, Tick,Tick Time Flies
I Thought I Knew You
A Liar Your Heart
Marriage Is Complicated, if It’s Not You Have A Problem
Open Relationship Sounds Good, But…
Cheaters A Dime A Dozen
Love After Being Cheated On
Breaking Up: A Heart and Mind Struggle
Dating After Cheating
Sex and Money: A Vulnerable Conversation
Breaking Out After The Breakup
Surviving The Art of Cheating
The Art of Cheating
We are not cans of vegetables in a store that require a label to be stacked in the same area. We are people, so why do we need so many labels? There are so many labels that seem to define people that I’m starting to think that it’s made up. I’m black, female, gay, and married, but none of those define me just like those words or similar words don’t define you. One of the reasons you label vegetables is so that when you open them, you know what’s inside. Labeling people tells you nothing about the person inside. Labeling is very broad way of saying “This is me”, but why do you need to say that? It would be so nice if we could pull off the labels and people were just that, a person with a name for identification, and that’s it. “I am Anita” – that’s my identification, and that has nothing to do with who I am inside. We have got too hung up on these labels without knowing the person who is assigned a label. When you meet someone, you should look at the person, not if he is gay, straight, transgender, or anything else, just the person. We have a superficial world that looks too much at looks before seeing the person inside the body. It doesn’t matter if you are beautiful or ugly as hell if what’s inside should count more than what you look like and what label should be attached to your person. Why is it so important that you give yourself a label or a label is given to you? Does that label tell the person about you? I hope not because this world is worse off than I thought if all we are is a bunch of people trying to fit in a label like string beans in a can. When I was a kid, I saw these two people walking down the street. They were gay, I assumed. I wondered why people can’t just love who they wanted, as they were not hurting anyone. I learned as I got older that labels are used as a way to hurt people, and labels are used to define people as a certain sexual being. Again, why do you need a label to describe your sexuality? If you’re transgender, great but I rather know the person inside that transgender body. I don’t care if you’re transgender because that’s not what drew you to me. It’s that person inside that body that I want to get to know and love. I’m just saying I would rather just know your name. This doesn’t just apply to gay people but straight people as well. I don’t care if you’re straight, I just want to know your name and get to know that person inside. We are all different inside, and that is what makes us special. If you were to put all the Anita’s in the world together, we would still be different because of the person inside: there is no need to label that Anita as straight or that Anita as gay, what is the point? I really hope one day that people will stop with the labeling because it’s a false way to define someone. It would be so much better if we pulled off the labels and just looked at the person. Maybe that would make the world a better place. It might help with all this divisiveness that is going on. It might help people to truly understand the next person without making assumptions. It could put love in the world and get rid of some of the hatred we have for certain groups of labeled people. Please take the time to pull the label off and look at the person inside before you judge. The next time someone says I’m pansexual, ask them who are they really inside without the label.
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There are caravans of immigrants clamoring to get into this country. Why? Because there is no country that will give them the liberties that this country does. The immigrants know one thing for sure: America is the beautiful place that will save them from the stifling country from which they came. I see that America has become a bruised country. We hear a lot about a country divided, but were we really ever together? We are a divided country much like cheap cement that falls apart with the slightest wind. The cheap cement that has held us together, as we can see, has easily separated us. Can we blame anyone but ourselves for the lack of unity? No, we can’t. We have someone who pushes the envelope just like television pushes the envelope with sex. It is no wonder the two are equated. I didn’t vote for many years, maybe into my 40s, because I felt as if my vote didn’t make a difference. When the election was over and the candidate I would have voted for (if I had voted) lost, I thought I would see that my vote wouldn’t have mattered. I have since learned not to look at it in that view but to view it as my vote could be the one vote that could have taken my candidate to the winner’s podium. I vote all the time now. How many of you have that view about not voting? Another reason to vote is because people withstood a lot to make voting a right for everyone. A lot of blood has been shed to give citizens voting rights. I had not appreciated those who came before me and actually saw the importance of voting. I bet immigrants, as soon as they are given citizenship, run out and vote. Immigrants seem to appreciate this country more than the people who were actually born here. We are a bruised country by the very same things that immigrants see as America the beautiful. I’m talking about words like freedom, equality, and the things we take for granted. As for the politicians we elect into office, sometimes I wonder if it is some kind of Ponzi scheme where the head person brings in a person and every person has to keep bringing in people to keep the game going, along with money to keep it going. It might not be money that keeps the game going but rather the laws based on whoever is in charge. The game changes every four years, and unless you’re rich, the laws seem to keep feeding the upper rungs of people. Do immigrants know about this or do they even care? I doubt it because some of their governments will kill people for going against the government, whereas in America, they just change a law or get more tax money from the people at the bottom. We are a bruised country. We are a country that needs healing, but how do we heal a country that was never whole? I was in the military in the late 70s. It was during peacetime, and I hate to say this, but our military was ill prepared to continue its fight. The military then was more like a country club. It seemed like we were tired. My spouse just retired, and, in talking to her, it seems the military has changed. It had to or we could not scare other countries into believing in our strength. The immigrants see this country as a cover of protection, while some of us hope that we can keep fooling other countries about our power. It’s a sad situation. Immigrants come here for equality, but that is a blog by itself. I will say that the equality immigrants seek is just anything, because they have never really had the type of equality and freedom that they can have here. Do they realize that many people here don’t want them in this country? Do they know that they will become a minority class, that Americans will look down on them? Hell, we Americans look down on each other, so why would we welcome immigrants? The times have changed … or have they? When immigrants came here many, many years ago, they were stuffed in neighborhoods where they were all the same. The purpose of this was to keep them under control. That has been the case throughout the centuries. The immigrants still come to America the beautiful. I sadly feel, however, that we are a bruised country that can only be healed by starting all over again from the top to the bottom. I mean instituting new laws and getting rid of outdated laws. We need laws that reflect the times in which we live. There should be freedom and equality for all, no matter how much money one has. Everyone should be on an equal playing field. Why do we have rich, middle and poor classes? What is the purpose other than to divide and make one group stronger at the expense of the other? Let every man and woman, regardless of their class, fight for a job on an equal playing field. Immigrants will continue to use any means possible to get to America, while some of us here will use any means possible to go somewhere else. As bruised as the country is, maybe it’s time to heal it. That job, I hope, will come from our future generations. Hopefully, they can join together and strip away the scab on the country and let it heal.